Stephanie Knoch and Bruce Howell are determined to help those living with dementia and give support to their often overwhelmed and isolated care partners.
Knoch, who is the program manager of the Needham Community Council’s (NCC) new Dementia Care Support Partners initiative, has started offering training sessions to “provide an overview [of the illness and] … to break the stigma that’s associated with dementia,” she said.
The sessions offer “practical strategies for effective, compassionate communication [and] insight into how small actions can make a meaningful difference,” according to the council.
The NCC will also run memory cafes, which the nonprofit describes as “welcoming, stigma-free social gatherings where individuals living with dementia and their care partners can relax, connect and enjoy time together in a supportive environment.”
Providing a space and connections for caregivers is vital, since they often “feel like the invisible second patient,” said Knoch, a licensed clinical social worker.
Howell, a Needham resident, had first-hand experience with the challenges that care partners face. His wife, Susan, was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease in 2017 at age 67, although family members recall noticing changes starting around 2012. She died in 2024.
He recalled feeling overwhelmed at times, saying “it’s critical to not try to do this all on your own.”
During his wife’s illness, Howell reached out and joined support groups which offered strategies, chances to express his feelings and helped him realize “that [he was] not the only one going through this,” said Howell.
Council meets a need
Knoch organized and launched the NCC’s Dementia Care Support Partners program in June. The council moved forward with the initiative in response to the under-met needs of Needham residents living with dementia.
According to the Massachusetts Healthy Aging Collaborative’s 2025 Massachusetts Healthy Aging Data Report:
- There are about 32,000 Needham residents
- Of those, approximately 5,829 (or 18.2 percent) are aged 65 or older.
- 15.4 percent of Needham residents aged 65 or older — nearly 900 people — have Alzheimer’s or related dementias.
Knoch said the training will not offer medical advice. Instead, she said the one-hour Dementia Friends Informational Sessions focus on how to engage and support people living with dementia.
The training schedule is available online and Knoch also has given sessions in person to town community groups.
Connections are a lifeline
During his six years as a care partner, Howell and Susan attended memory cafes in different towns. During a visit to the All Newton Music School’s memory cafe, they enjoyed a concert given by several students.
“Music reaches them [those living with dementia] … they can even remember lyrics to an old song that they knew,” he said.
During his journey, he became friends with Marv Alpert from Waltham, another husband who is still caring for his own wife. The two “were really comfortable with their [wives’] behaviors” during the outings and would not get embarrassed.
Howell was not sure either woman remembered the other when the couples would meet up. The husbands would mostly ask simple questions they knew their wives could answer, since the women were no longer able to initiate conversations.
Although neither had ever written a book, Howell and Alpert decided to self-publish “Alzheimer’s Caregiving with Love, Laughter, and a Plan,” to help others faced with similar challenges, including managing a loved one’s daily care, as well as coping with behavioral changes and upsetting emotions.
Spoiler alert: Howell is blind, but he doesn’t tell the readers until the end of the book. He said he “wanted to show anybody can be a good caregiver with the right attitude and effort.”
Eventually, verbal communication became difficult for the couple, and Howell could not see his wife’s body language and expression to help. Realizing he couldn’t provide everything she needed on his own, he reached out for help, eventually moving her to assisted living.
In the book, the men advised readers to involve a patient’s primary care doctor in coordinating a loved one’s health treatment, obtain legal and financial advice as needed, and to reach out.
“No caregiver should do this in isolation,” Howell said.
More information
• The memory cafes will be held in partnership with the Needham Public Library and Council on Aging. The first one takes place Sept. 25 (today) at 10:30 in the library community room. After that they will be held on the fourth Tuesday of every month from 10:30 a.m.-12 p.m. The November memory cafe will be facilitated by Needham poet laureate Anne Nydam, who will read poems and then lead participants in creating a group poem.
• For more information about the Dementia Care Partners Support Program, community members can contact Stephanie Knoch at sknoch@needhamcouncil.org or by calling 781-444-2415, ext. 2030.
• Knoch will be hosting a virtual training session Wednesday, Nov. 19, from 2-3 p.m. Those interested in taking the training can reach out to her to get the link or visit Dementiafriendsma.org for more information.
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